In Search on an internship...

I had mentioned earlier this year that I was going to write more. As you can clearly see, that turned out to be a typical new year’s resolution - it never happened. I have wanted to write. I have sat down several times, and started typing, only to delete what I put down. Let's see if I make it through this time.

The second term of the MBA, in a lot of ways, is easier than the first. I only had 3 classes, instead of 4. The group project was based around Mergers and Acquisitions (desktop research), instead of working with an outside client. As a result, it was easier to manage – (and get a distinction!) There were less intro classes and more free time. Most importantly, I knew how to manage my schedule. I knew what to expect. And I understood that you can't do EVERYTHING possible, so I didn't sign up for as many things that didn't interest me because I felt I should.

So why the silence? If it was easier, shouldn't I have had more time to write?

You see, the thing is, in a lot of ways, the second term is a lot harder than the first. And that is for one main reason. The internship search struggle. Coming into my MBA, I looked forward to the internship with big dreams of what the future holds. I was going to lock down an internship with a consulting firm, the job of my dreams, then kick so much ass that they were forced to hire me back for full time. And because I am so awesome, I expected to have this all wrapped up by Feb, so I didn’t have to worry about it much from that point on.

So I set out applying to any consulting internship I could find. From McKinsey to Accenture, Deloitte to Simon Kutcher (Simon who?) Big or small, it didn’t matter. But the same thing happened. “Dear Mr Newell, we regret to inform you….we were fortunate enough to have many qualified candidates….but we were impressed by you….but good luck ELSEWHERE.” And that letter was better than what many firms gave me – silence.

I’ll admit, while I am use to rejection, I don’t think anyone is use to it at that level. I lost count of how many places told me no. I watched my friends get interviews, and helped them prepare. But I couldn’t understand why I didn’t get an opportunity. What am I missing? Why not me?

Every time I sat down to write about it, to talk about my frustration, I was coming across angry, hurt, and any other emotion constant rejection brings upon you. I didn’t want to write like that. I didn’t want to remember my MBA experiences like that. My stubbornness, if you will, prevented me from putting together coherent thoughts. So I focused on putting my head down and applying to the next one.

I truly think getting an MBA internship is one of the hardest things I have done, for many reasons (or at least reasons I use to justify my challenges.) Not all firms want to take the time to bring in and pay and MBA for just 12 weeks’ worth of work. They don’t see a long term value out of it. Combine this with the fact that most MBA programs are only a year, there is less internships than there are students fighting over them. Additionally, most internships are in London. Manchester is a great business school, but it isn’t London Business School, or isn’t as close to London as Oxford or Cambridge. We have a huge hurdle as students in the north, trying to battle with the best of the best on their home court. Thankfully, there are tremendous amounts of internships in the US, or so I thought. But I can’t help but worry that as soon as they see my application, all that runs through the US recruiters head one of the following questions - “What’s a Manchester Business School?”, “Some kid from England? He would be hard to interview – next!” or “How much is that going to cost me to relocate him?”

Even with these struggles, I have never questioned my ability to do a job. I know who I am and what I have to offer. I know I am meant for big things in the future. I have confidence in myself and my interview abilities. I seem to be a likeable guy (that, or everyone is just really good at bullshitting with me!) But I felt like I was running into a brick wall with a steal door keeping me from having any fair chance at fulfilling my lofty dreams. All I was asking for was that one opportunity. I was like the Little Giants – I just needed that one time (Yes, that is a mid-90s movie reference, and no, I do not regret making it.)

I am lucky. I have had a couple opportunities come up. I had my first interview, which has led to a final interview later this week. I have a back-up plan back in Colorado. But, at first, it was been hard for me to get excited about them. Not because they aren’t great opportunities, they really are. But because they aren’t the lofty expectations I let myself have coming into this. They aren’t the international consulting firm I wanted. It took me a while to accept that, to stop being angry about it, to stop feeling hurt. I have to remind myself about how competitive the internship search is, and how when I search for my full time job next year it will be easier. I will end up all right, and get through everything. But if you don’t hear from me for 3 months next year, you might now know why.

As always, I hope this gives you some insight into what the life on an international MBA is like. Hopefully, this kicks that writers block I have had this term, as there are a lot of exciting things going on over the next couple of months. But in the mean-time, any feedback is welcome and appreciated – unless it is simply to correct my grammar. I know is sucks so don’t be that guy. Till next time (hopefully not another 3 months.)